I wannas sexs uuuuu
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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