I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
