Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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