Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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