You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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