Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize