I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
