Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
