There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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