Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
