Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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