What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize