you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
