Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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