with your own penis?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
