I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
