Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
