Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
