Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize