btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
