i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.