You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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