too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
