Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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