First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
