these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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