If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize