were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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