so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
