My first STD was from a foam party
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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