She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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