it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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