I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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