That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
