I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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