I wish my penis had an off switch
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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