Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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