How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
