This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
