he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
