Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
