I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize