I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
