I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
