I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
