We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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