This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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