i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize