Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
