you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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