I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
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Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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