I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
