So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
