Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
