I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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