His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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